We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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