3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
