it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
