Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
