oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
