the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
