doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
