I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
