found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
