Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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