guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
