I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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