I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
