Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize