I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
