we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
