If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
