I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
