I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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