I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
