Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
