have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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