Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
