Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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