Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
