found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
we should paint friendship bongs
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