Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize