Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
