Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
