I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize