do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
