I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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