ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
