new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
