Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
