I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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