Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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