The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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