you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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