remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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