Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
