I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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