That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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