He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
