Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
