We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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