Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
