her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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