his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize