so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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