BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
