i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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