My nipple is on Facebook.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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