so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
