hell yes lets make some ravioli
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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