Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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