Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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