i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize