We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
