so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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