He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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