im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
