please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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