I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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