Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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